ResourceBunk
What if Spit Became the Most Valuable Resource?
Categories: science fiction, humor, alternative future, speculative fiction, dystopia, satire Published at: Sun Mar 02 2025 20:25:57 GMT+0000 (Coordinated Universal Time) Last Updated at: 3/2/2025, 8:25:57 PMEver think about how much spit we make? I mean, really think about it. In a lifetime, the average person produces enough to fill two swimming pools! That's a LOT of spit. Now, imagine a future where... spit is king! Not in a gross, slimy way, of course, but imagine if we found amazing uses for it, making it more valuable than gold or oil. What a wild world that would be!
Section 1: The Spit-Fueled Economy
Picture this: instead of gas stations, we have "Spit Stops." You pull up, give a sample, and get enough energy to power your car for a week! Sounds crazy, right? But what if scientists discovered a way to harness the energy in spit? Maybe there are tiny, microscopic power sources in it we never even knew existed! Suddenly, our cars, homes, and even cities could run on the stuff we naturally produce. Imagine the environmental impact! No more oil spills, no more reliance on fossil fuels. Goodbye, climate change worries!
"Think of the possibilities!" says Professor Quentin Quibble, a leading expert in… well, spit. "We could be looking at a clean energy revolution, all thanks to something we all have in abundance."
Section 2: Spit-Based Industries
Of course, the energy revolution wouldn't be the only change. Think about new industries that would pop up! Spit-based cosmetics would be huge. Imagine a luxurious spit-infused facial mask that makes you look like a Hollywood star. Or what about spit-powered computers, processing information at lightning speed? We'd have spit-based art, spit-based fashion, even spit-based food additives! The culinary possibilities alone are endless – think of spit-flavored ice cream!
"It's not just about energy," says celebrity chef, Sal Spitteroni, known for his avant-garde spit-cuisine. "Spit is the ultimate untapped ingredient. It's a versatile, sustainable, and readily available resource that could revolutionize the food industry!"
Section 3: The Spit Olympics
And let's not forget the entertainment factor. The Spit Olympics would be a thing. Events could include spit-shooting accuracy competitions, spit-farthest-distance challenges, and maybe even synchronized spitting routines! Imagine the worldwide popularity, the dedicated training facilities, the sponsorships... it could be bigger than the Summer Olympics! We could even have spit-themed theme parks. Who wouldn't want to ride a spit-powered rollercoaster?
Section 4: The Dark Side of Spit
Now, let's be realistic. A spit-dominated future isn't all sunshine and rainbows. There would be issues. For example, taxation on spit production would be a huge debate. Should everyone be required to contribute their daily spit quota to the government? And what about spit theft? Imagine a black market for high-quality spit, with specialized 'spit-guards' patrolling the streets! A whole new crime genre would arise. We'd have spit-related insurance claims and spit-related lawsuits. The legal system would be completely overwhelmed. It could get pretty messy, quite literally.
Section 5: Spit and the Future
But even with the potential downsides, a spit-powered future could be quite exciting. We could live in a world with virtually unlimited clean energy, amazing technological advancements, and, dare I say, delicious new food options. Who knows what other incredible things we could discover within our own saliva? Maybe the key to eternal youth, or even interdimensional travel, is hiding in that daily dose of spit. The possibilities are truly endless, and maybe, just maybe, a little bit spit-tastic!